Rhiannon: Sometimes finding Mr. or Mrs. Right can seem impossible whether its
commitment problems or a relationship that’s turned sour, knowing what to do
next can be very confusing. Our relationship pros help clear up those issues in
today’s Ask Matt and Tamsen.
Tamsen: Hi everybody, Matt and Tamsen here, your love consultants, ready to answer your
questions about love, sex, dating and of course, relationships. We’ve got a few to
get you started today, alright, our first one. “Dear Matt and Tamsen, I’m a
beautiful successful 35 year old woman, could you please tell me why men won’t
commit.” What comes out of those three words? Men won’t commit.
Matt: Right, there’s a reason, one woman for the rest of your life.
Tamsen: It’s a hard thing for a guy to swallow.
Matt: That’s what come to minds even if they look like this, it’s still a challenging
thought topic. So, here’s the deal, we as men, we’re good guys, we don’t want to
make commitments and then not be able to really follow through with it.
Tamsen: I don’t know all men are good, I mean I think this comes down to other guys
ready in this life.
Matt: Well, yeah, that’s a good point, but remember, where not predisposed to just be
with one woman. Remember I said a million times, men are supposed to run
around the forest, propagate the species, chase some animals, eat them and they
get up and go to sleep, that’s what we do when we’re caveman. Caveman have
suits now, we still think the same way. So honestly, it has to be timing, I think
Tamsen’s right. Guys who I believe are eligible for committed relationships are
between the ages of 35-45. I’ll say it, it’s a broad general statement, but you know
what, it’s true.
Tamsen: Yeah, I would tend to agree with that, and also I think it’s where they live, she
lives in Chicago. So I think maybe she’s dating guys that are into the city, maybe
those guys are more prone to be concentrating on their career first. And if you are
finding men that won’t commit, maybe it’s the type of men, you know, she’s
going after. I was the kind of girl that seem to traditionally go after men that
weren’t interested in committing because I was attracted to guys who are career
focused, who had other priorities.
Matt: Good looking guys.
Tamsen: And that could be part of it. So look, first of all, at the kind of guys you’re dating
and then I want to look also at maybe the age the guys you’re dating because I
think that’s important.
Matt: And remember, on the coast, the mean age of marriage is a little higher. We wait
longer because of our careers, you know in the mid west such as Chicago, it
actually is a little lower. So, you know, just listen. Choose your man accordingly
and choose them correctly.
Tamsen: Okay, here’s the next one. “Dear Matt and Tamsen, my husband is not giving me
the life he had promised. We’re financially behind the 8 ball, our relationship is
shaky at best and we’re rapidly approaching the age the end of when I will be able
to have children. What should I do?”
That’s a harder.
Matt: God, three things at one time, this woman is throwing the whole kitchen sink at
this guy. Honestly, you have to stop, have a serious conversation with your
significant other, and decide if you’re going to move forward in the relationship
and no one’s getting any younger. You’re developing a history with this guy, this
woman, you really have to make some decisions.
What do you think?
Tamsen: Yeah, I think so, I think they have to be in this order, she has, you know, financial
relationship and then children, but I think it needs to go relationship first. That’s
what they need to be concentrating on maybe then financial, then children.
Because I think if you, a lot of times you see people bring children into the mix
because they are worried about age. if she’s approaching 39, 40 years old, and
that’s just a bad equation all around so I think the relationship has to come first in
this.
Matt: It’s very true, without the relationship, you have nothing, you have to maintain the
relationship or everything will go away. It’s very important, some people forget
that. And also don’t be complacent in a relationship. Maybe both you guys are
tired of everything, you have to spice up, you have to change everything about the
dynamic about what’s going on between the two of you.
Tamsen: Yes, especially if you’re saying in a shaky, let us know what happens but that’s
where I would put that focus first before it’s ever on the finances or the kids.
Matt: And one more thing, don’t be afraid to leave each other if that’s what the best is
for the situation.
Tamsen: Yeah, absolutely. This has been Matt and Tamsen, if you have questions please be
sure to send them our way.
Rhiannon: Great advice, thanks guys. If you have dating questions or relationship question
that you want answered, email AskMandT@BetterTV.com.