White Balance Chronicles

Male: Where am I what happened? White balance. I need enlightenment.

Male: When he did I need light, lower the temperature, the more — the
hotter the temperature, the more new.

Male: And stop you know the blue light of the sand bulb, yes and the red
light of the Tungsten Bulb but you cannot mix them.

Male: So how do I shoot when I have both sunlight and tungsten?

Male: With the power of Jo.

Male: The one’s you need are CTO and CTB which stands for Color
Temperature Orange and Color Temperature Blue. You must go to
the camera demon and speak with him and tell him of your plans.

Male: I must go find the camera demon.

Male: Well check my gauge we have a visitor, how are you stranger?

Male: Back I have a knife.

Male: Oh you can just go ahead and relax on that Gardicus the flying
collar dog found me and said you will be stopping in.

Male: Oh he did?

Male: Yeah he said you were trying to shoot a thundercats blog but you
needed help. He said that you knew not to mix sources and how to
correct colored temperature with gels but you didn’t know how to
bring balance to the white.

Male: I’m trying to shoot my thundercats video blog and I don’t want it
to look terrible. And all I’ve been getting you’re led by giant
floating on nipotene God beasts. So frustrating, you just can’t get
it.

Male: Come on now partner if what Gardicus the flying collar dog says
it’s true, you’re almost home free. You just need to tell me what
white looks like.

Male: A big what, listen.

Male: I’m a camera demon I can look but I can’t see. I’m a beast to gears
and glass and metal and I don’t have cool banging me like you got.
When I look, I see shapes and wave lengths and data. I don’t see
cars and the sky, clouds in such like the memories and whatnot and
what you got going on inside your brain, you need to tell me what
white looks like because I have no idea.

Male: I don’t understand. I’ve learned that light is colored it’s not white.

Male: Ask yourself the question. You can do it Rile.

Male: If light is color then why do white things look white in my brain?

Male: The diamond of awareness. If you’ll see something as white, it’s
white because your brain is telling you that it’s white. Your brain
is a meek computer that interprets the data that it gets from your
eye. Connect me to camera demon except I need your help because
I’m basically retiring. Come on.

Now seriously I’m absolutely dumb as— to shoot your thunder
cat’s blog and have it come out not looking terrible you’re going to
need balance the white both inside your self and inside your
camera. You need not mix sources and you need to tell your
camera and the camera demon what lives inside of it that you’re
shooting of a tungsten light in which case I will take everything
that looks kind of orange and make it look white or sunlight in
which case I’ll take everything that looks kind of blue and make it
look white.

Work them together or otherwise you could just take something
that you know is actually white and hold it up in front of me and
say hey camera demon, this thing is white and then I’ll know what
white looks like.

Finally, I’ll be able to balance the white. Who all get along then
little doggy?