Toilet-Seat Museum Amazes Bert

Bert Kreischer: I’m in San Antonio Texas at Barney Smith Toilet Seat art museum.

Barney Smith: I hope if you got about 10 hours to stand with me at least.

Bert Kreischer: I’ll give you nine. This four car garage is still with over a thousand toilet seats handcrafted by Barney himself. And he wouldn’t mind if I sat on that toilet seat? And how long have you been doing this?

Barney Smith: Over 45 years

Bert Kreischer: How did you start collecting and designing toilet seats?

Barney Smith: Actually my dad and I was go hunting and I needed a flat to put set of hangars on one hunting season. I picked up a toilet seat and I mounted them on there and put a hanger wire on it and hung it on the wall. I said, “That’s what I have been looking for all of these years.”

Bert Kreischer: Like a work of art each portion of throne is painstakingly crafted by hand. Then give it an exhibit number. But these colorful commodes aren’t for sale. This is in a way your own personal scrap book?

Barney Smith: It is. In fact instead of putting pictures in a scrap book I put my wedding anniversary pictures over here.

Bert Kreischer: And all of Barney’s toilet seats have a different theme. He has seats dedicated to sports, music, and even the 50 States. The art work on this thing is absolutely impeccable, not a pencil all, there is no mistake. You got one shot and drawn on Utah almost say this is?

Barney Smith: Arizona.

Bert Kreischer: You have one shot drawn here Arizona and, oh I mean it is Arizona so the hardest states law.

Barney Smith: And California was so long. I did live in of space California short of come down here, sickness in law.

Bert Kreischer: This was one of the tiny seats. This is all a little too much information but this toilet is too small for me.

Barney Smith: They sure are.

Bert Kreischer: The Barney’s most prize piece is designed around a poem that holds a special place in his heart.

Barney Smith: This poem was given to a little 12-year-old boy in a fifth grade and this is poem “When Earth’s Last Picture Is Painted”. We sure as each in a separate star are draw with things as he sees it on for the garden things as they are, I was that little 12-year-old boy, that was a long time ago. That’s why it’s my favorite.

Bert Kreischer: Or maybe quite toilets museum?

Barney Smith: I did.

Bert Kreischer: Come on party?

Barney Smith: That’s me

Bert Kreischer: I didn’t think anything could top Barney’s sentimental favorite but he had one last toilet seat to show me.

Barney Smith: Travel Channel

Bert Kreischer: Oh my gosh.

Barney Smith: And Bert’s name is on there, the conqueror.

Bert Kreischer: The conqueror and that’s me holding a camera on my trusted feet

Barney Smith: That’s him, headed for Alamo Heights.

Bert Kreischer: Oh, this is great

Barney Smith: And I wanted you to sign your name here on this.

Bert Kreischer: My kids going to make me Father’s Day card, you made me toilet seat.

Barney Smith: Yes.

Bert Kreischer: Oh fantastic, Bert, the conqueror Kreischer. I want to thank you so much for this. This museum has been telling stories from all over the world on toilets seats and now Bert the conqueror is on display here at Barney’s Toilet Seat Art Museum only in San Antonio.