Hi, this is Shalanda, your relationship coach of Tookes Wilder Guidance, and I would like to thank you for joining me today for the topic of good manners for children while they are being raised around. You manage children. A parent wants to know how she can raise her children to be well mannered kids while their cousins seem to have no disciple. I am very adamant about starting young. When the child is young, they learn by watching and you teach your child to behave properly. If you want them to say thank you, you teach somebody to behave properly by saying thank you yourself.

Now, in the case of bad peers who the child hangs out with on a regular basis, you may want to reprimand the child depending on your relationship with their parents. If the child is talking back or being disrespectful, then you let them know that that's not nice, that behavior is not acceptable. You reinforce this to your child if they are exhibiting unacceptable behavior.

On the other hand, if they are being good while the other children are being bad, then you let them know, oh, you are being so well mannered, you are doing this, you are doing that, very good. Thank you for doing whatever it is the child is doing, and that will reinforce your child to continue his or her good behavior, despite the other children. I am around him or her, trying to influence her to do the wrong thing.

Now, if your child does something, like pick up the toys, remember to tell them -- keep telling them, oh, you are doing a good job, thank you very much for doing that. You want to be persistent. You want to offer them persistent, positive reinforcement despite the other children's actions.

Now, if your child -- someone gives your child something, if you are trying to teach them to say thank you, then you tell your child, tell so and so thank you. You just keep being persistent about your child learning good behavior, and pretty soon, rather than being sneaky, they will learn to behave whether you are around or not, because kids are little sponges, kids are observant sponges. They learn by watching everything.

Now, there were two brothers who had a father who was in and out of jail all their life. Now, one brother, he turned out to be a model citizen. He went to school, he got his education, he got a job, and he took care of his family. On the other hand, his brother turned out to be like their father, in and out of jail.

Now when asked, now, how did you guys turn out to be so different? One brother said, well, look at my father, I had no choice. The other brother was asked the same thing and he said, well, look at my father, I had no choice. So both boys learned a lesson by watching their father.

Now what you want to do is teach your child a good lesson. You want to instill in them positive behavior by showing them positive things. So if you want them to learn to say excuse me; children are known for pushing past people, then you tell them, say excuse me, while they are doing the behavior, because children have -- their memory, sometimes they don't remember things as far back into the past as we expect. So depending on their age, while they are in the behavior, then let them know what they are doing right or wrong, and give them positive reinforcement so they will learn to keep up the good behavior.

Now, on the other hand, if you use profanity around your child, then your child will at the darnedest of times use profanity; like in Church, because that's what you have taught them.

On the other hand, if you taught them to be quiet, then they will learn to sit still and be quiet; for a short time, according to their age.

Now, they do what they hear mommy and daddy say or whoever is keeping them say, so watch your own actions.

So I hope that helps. I thank you for emailing me with your questions and comments, and remember, you can get a hold of me at tookeswilder@consultant.com. If you have any questions or comments about anything you would like to see or anything you have heard, I would love to hear from you. I want to continue hearing from you. I have gotten a good response so forth, so let's keep it going, and also remember to subscribe.