Speaker: How does chemistry found in intimate relationships differ from chemistry found in other relationship?
Toni Coleman: Chemistry in intimate relationship is, as I said before comprised of a number of different elements and it is very different, and that you need to have a connection on so many different levels. For instance, if you look at friendships or you look at office relationships or even relationships with acquaintances. They are all based on some kind of mutual experience that you’ve had perhaps growing up together, working in the same place, having a shared interest that kind of thing, and they tend change over time. We go in and out of those relationships. There is not even really much of an expectation sometimes for those relationships to continue pass that experience that you are having together like working together or some type of activity that you pursue together.
Some relationships, some friendships of course do last a lifetime, but those are less common. And again it's because there is a mutual kind of sharing around an interest or a particular thing that that holds those together.
With a romantic relationship, there is an expectation that is going to go through time and that you are going to make this commitment at some point and that the relationship will go through a lot of tests and it will persist over a lifetime. And therefore, you really needs to be the attraction, the friendship, all of those elements that will hold you together as you move through all of these challenges, and that there is just not the same expectation for friendship. It's that level of intimacy. It's that this is the person that cares about me more than anyone else in the world, and there is nobody that I am number one with the way I am with this person. And there is no one that they rely on like they can with me, family and that's what makes it really unique, even from best friends.