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Presents:

Watch this Instead: Piranha 3D vs. Douchey T ‘n’ A in The Stream

The Stream

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Male Speaker: Hi, this is Mike in today. You know what it is, you know what day it is, it’s Piranha 3D day. Piranha 3D, as you know and this is watch this instead, by the way. Piranha 3D, as you know it was directed by Alexander Aja, who earlier made his bounce directing, Haute Tension, which was really good and ultimately kind of eye rolling with a crappy ending and then going on to make stuff like the remake of the Hills Have Eyes and Mirrors. Piranha 3D is a remake of a movie called Piranha that was made in the late 1970s by Roger Corman and Joe Dante which itself was of Steven Spielberg’s a couple of years earlier film Jaws and I mean “Hey, if anything is ripe for a remake, it’s a parity of a 35 year old movie.” All the time I used to hear people talking about Jaws and I’m like “shut up about Jaws, God, I wish there was a parity movie that was new that would make fun of Jaws for me.”

So these people will get after a high – there are high jaw sources. So what is it about, it’s about the boobs of girls, their anus, blood and fish that kill them. Its a guilty pleasure of a film, apparently, that’s what they’re calling it fill to literally hard or old fashion brimming with girls in and out of the bikinis absolutely no jokes, absolutely no scary parts and in actually a pretty good cast which features people like Elisabeth Shue, Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames, Richard Dreyfuss that they managed come -- be in a cameo for an amount of money and that actually makes the whole thing kind of watchable, there is a bunch of really good performances, there is also a bunch of really terrible performances from kind of enjoy watching this movie, of course I like tits and anuses just like every other human being does.

This isn’t a good film at all, it’s terrible, it’s not even close to being technically a debt in any real way there is no suspense, there is no jokes except for the part where a fish bites a guy’s pecker off and then pukes the pecker back off. And the 3D is garbage, it was converted and in post it wasn’t shot in 3D, and as a result the only real 3D parts are when a girl pukes directly on you and you go “ah, girl puked”. But what the 3D conversion mostly does is, it makes the fish even when they are on screen not scary because the 3D conversion process makes the image dark and as a result the really scary piranha is in 3D, look like brown turtles floating around under water not at any point scary.

It’s terrible, but it’s entertaining. So should you watch it, why not, get some beers sneak them in go with your buds and at some girls boobs for 90 minutes or if you want to watch something else instead of staying in home just steal or somehow get in a brown paper bag or cover your face copy of the actual girls gone wild in DVDs and watch at those because it’s basically the same thing except without the gore. And given recent it’s actually legal for the girls gone wild people to rip women’s clothes off them.

If I’m not allegedly, if I’m not mistaken, it’s probably actually a lot more scary then the actual Piranha 3D.

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