Well, I was supposed to be out in 23 hours. I was actually in the hospital for five days because they did the laparoscopic hysterectomy with the transvaginally, and so I kind of hit complications because a lot of women that are, you know, cut across their stomach--well, each person is different--but for me, for some reason, I actually hit some complications.
And they want to get you up and out of bed right away. I am like, “I am sorry, you want me to move…where, what?” I really wasn’t able to do that. And then I was, I went home and I think after I got off the drugs and the pain and the Percocets and everything, I think then it set in, that, oh, my gosh, I can’t have any kids. Oh, my gosh. I literally felt gutted like a fish; that’s the exact word.
So, you know, you just get this overwhelming sunk in this thing, that you know, you kind of feel like less of a woman. You are like, who do I talk to? Who do I go to about this? And then makes you wonder, okay, so do I have any hormones? Do I not have any more hormones left… now what? That was my biggest question.
You know, for a while, which I still struggle with is, you know, I am a people person, so I do what I need to do with customer service or customer care during the day, but at night and on the weekends I pretty much am in bed watching Lifetime, you know. But I have recently, until after I saw and looked through EmpowHer and this year, 2009, I am like, this is the year of me. Something has to change.
And I actually, I mentor eighth grade girls, it’s called Goals for Girls program, and it’s here in the Washington, DC area, I am like, how can… I had to actually step back for about six to eight months because I was such a mess myself. And how can I mentor and focus on these younger women and these young girls if I can’t even get myself together?
And that’s when I finally decided, you know what, this is the year of me. Something’s got to change and something is going to change. That’s what’s keeping me going now.