[SOT/:JIMMY KIMMEL / COMEDIAN -- POOL VIDEO --APRIL 28]thank you...good evening distinguished guests....mr. President...salam...mr. President I know you wont be able to laugh at any secret service jokes...so...cover your ears if that's physically possible....i do have a lot of jokes about the secret service....i told them for 800 dollars I wouldn't tell them....but they only offered me thirty....i'm happy to see that Congress is taking this seriously...david vitter even went so far as to fly down to colombia to investigate personally....if this had happened under president clinton watch...you can bet that the secret service agents would have been disciplined with a very serious high five...palms would be beat-red....quick announcement...if anyone has tickets to the GSA after-party, the plane is leaving at midnight for dubai...don't be late or you will miss out on your complimentary white tiger cub....president obama wanted to move the dinner, but the republicans wanted to keep it here at the hilton....so they compromised....and here we are at the hilton....but it's an honor to be here....if you told me when I was a kid...that I would be sitting on the same dais as president obama...i would have said....the president's name is barack obama?....mr. President....do you remember when the country rallied around you with the hopes of a better tomorrow....that was hilarious....that was your best one yet... It's kind of hard to be funny with the president right next to you looking at you....yet somehow...day in and day out...joe biden manages to do it."(****END****) VIDEO PRODUCER: ned barker---------------------------VIDEO SOURCE: ap video-----------------------VIDEO APPROVAL: ned barker----------------------------VIDEO RESTRICTIONS: none----------------------------------MARKET EMBARGO (S): none--------------------------------SCRIPT/WIRE SOURCE: a0417BC-US--Obama-Correspondents, 6th Ld-Writethru