(Background music playing)

Captain D: Greetings children, Captain D here. I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine, he lives right here in the lamp and his name is Mr. Flare.

Mr. Flare: Hey Captain, how are you doing? Good to see you.

Captain D: You too Mr. Flare.

Mr. Flare: Oh, hello children.

Captain D: So, Mr. Flare sounds like a very glamorous name, but you are actually a pretty down to earth sort of guy. Is it not true?

Mr. Flare: That is right CD. I am simple and easy to get along with. But, you know what? That does not mean I am worthless and do not deserve recognition and respect.

Captain D: And, you really like to travel, right?

Mr. Flare: I sure do, I have been all over the world and present at some of the most important events in the history, the 2006 night launch of the space shuttle discovery. The launch of any space thing really. The Police Reunion Tour, the reenactment of the World Trade Center, reenactment of the Iwo Jima, raising of the flag by the Lafayette High School Cheerleading Squad. Hell, I met most of these kids watching, although you would not know it from the way they act.

Captain D: All right, now.

Mr. Flare: I am not finished. They do not want to give my due credits. They rather believe I am some paranormal, ghost or angel. Well, angel my big refracted ass.

Captain D: Okay, thank you Mr. Flare. He raises a good point though. A camera lens is an imperfect device. Light can bounce around its various elements and create weird anomalies on the image. Some people choose to regard this as evidence of paranormal occurrences. My question is why? Here is a perfect example. This video claims to show some sort of fire angel, covering around the bonfire at the gathering of chanting Christians and Honduras.

But, you have to be completely dense not to realize that this is nothing more than a lens flare from the fire itself. Aside from the fact that it moves in concert with the camera, if you look carefully, you can see that it is an actual miniature image of the fire upside-down. So, why do some people continue to post ordinary videos like this and then fill the descriptions with ridiculous lies? My guess is for attention.

But, you do not need to make stuff up to get some personal attention, just leave the computer once in a while and go hangout with a friend. Better yet, make new ones like Mr. Flare.

Mr. Flare: Well, sorry I just have to get that out of my system.

Captain D: But, now I am afraid that it is time for us to go kids.

Mr. Flare: Yes, an undergrad in California is about to take a picture of his family against the shinny metal wall.

Captain D: Remember, love with your heart, use your head for everything else.

Mr. Flare: And, do not be such a freaking idiot.

Captain D: Captain Disillusion!

Mr. Flare: Mr. Flare!