Nina Sebastiane discusses the topic of multiple births and how to deal and cope with them.
Tags:Coping with Twins,how to cope with multiple births,parenting tips,simplymediatv
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Nina Sebastiane: Now all you parents out there will know how much chaos just the one baby can cause. Imagine multiplying that by two or three or may be even four, actually no not four. Well that’s what parents of twins, triplets and quadruplets represent have to deal with every single day. Sarah Swegsda owner of Mums2Be and Delyth Raffell owner founder Twins UK, a both moms of twins I here with us today. Welcome to studio of course Nathan and Bethany as well Sarah’s children. How much of a nightmare is having twins.
Sarah Swegsda: It’s shock I mean when you find out, I found out six weeks when you find out you’re having twins or triplets your whole life is you have to -- whole life never been same again everything does change and as dealing with those change is the you know how she cope.
Nina Sebastiane: Well, I say this is you know carrying one baby is bad enough; I’m not very quite great person to handle. So the thought of having two just feels most people with dread did it feel you.
Delyth Raffell: No, I mean I spend a quite a few years going to be IVR treatment and I really want it twin. I was absolutely over joy, I didn’t have any problems we are seeing but I did going -- very early. So in terms of pregnancy I didn’t go to face -- seven weeks which is normal, and so it was difficult birth but not a difficult pregnancy.
Nina Sebastiane: Now you both set up over see these two sides, these two organizations, why do you have such need to do it?
Sarah Swegsda: For me it was I couldn’t find equipment, I couldn’t prompts I just couldn’t find anybody that could turn as I said to me. Yes this is going to work you need this and you’re going to national companies and you say you have twins and unfortunately you kind of guided into this equipment that is the waste of money. It great for one baby, but it doesn’t always wroth for two, and when you have two there is a double expense and you know and when people when come into the store and I’m saying to them you know what you looking for the need to of everything in life right. You don’t make sure of everything, you can actually get away with one cope bed for a six or seven months -- you don’t need most -- you don’t need when you cooking can actually really slice the cost of having one baby. I’ll do exactly same service one baby but for two you can really notice that the difference in cost.
Delyth Raffell: And I think it’s important to focus on where you need to more than two of them. So Sarah is very much an expert on twins babies, things that are I deal with the more every day -- and shows and when I said the business when you go for various advice every single person says what -- and it’s so frustrating because isn’t so that if you are bottle feeding it’s sixteen bottles. You know you needed to know that.
Nina Sebastiane: So somewhat other sort of basics that people should know is I got a little bit of check list from you guys earlier and this is where on two some of these I mean obviously coping in first year connecting with our family to asses here.
Delyth Raffell: Really, really important. When you are pregnant I think
Sarah Swegsda: You’ve got to be out to talk to other people that going to be same thing I didn’t have accesses through the internet three and half years ago and for many people that’s make huge difference you know, the way to access the internet and say right you know where going to find this information and lots of this -- this is multiple birth foundation, that is about getting touch with you know in everyday person is actually go through the same thing issues and can understand your feelings and as actually living there in that. There are actually going through exactly where you are going through.
Nina Sebastiane: Nathan, I’m going to comments have a chat to you just now. What say like being a twin? Who is best friend? Is that your sister?
Sarah Swegsda: They are really close.
Nina Sebastiane: I mean okay, we are talking if you have the things that we know the cooping issues, but obviously there is the outside to having twins right, you know it’s they must keep each other company.
Sarah Swegsda: People from outside they can’t be and don’t like no I do twins against mom and I would.
Nina Sebastiane: Would you really.
Sarah Swegsda: My eldest is 10 and I remember bring him up then I can’t play this game you know it can’t be -- or if I have to learn the floor and play with this card, you know imagination that goes just can’t complete that my head and with these pad you’re just -- they actually have proper place on you know that on the floor and cooking bits sound and coloring and hall seeing and when you first them and they know is one another why it just.
Delyth Raffell: That’s lovely.
Sarah Swegsda: It’s lovely because you know people said, oh, shit he is pulling her hair or something like that no actually being quite --
Delyth Raffell: I think the first day one deliberately is extremely demanding.
Nina Sebastiane: Right.
Delyth Raffell: There is no two raise about it, it is really demanding, but once you beyond that and you do get more back from them obviously this deal with learn a few words they do start ignored each other and it’s great that debate is lovely.
Nina Sebastiane: So what tips would you have you know in terms of getting your kid together and getting yourself ready if somebody as you know about give birth twins, what advice if you go for say labor, the actual birth, and beyond that.
Delyth Raffell: I think they should prepare a few months earlier. Because remember you know and tiny show on the birds its going to be okay, so twins can cope quite early.
Nina Sebastiane: Because you’ll stay --
Delyth Raffell: My comments. Sarah -- full-time but you talked about 50% of twins -- seven weeks so early preparation is really important. So the first thing most people wanted to do is get information. So that’s you do use the net, you know contact phases like Tampa or and local base foundation. Join in a twins club when you’re pregnant that is really, really help more getting -- as soon as you find out.
Sarah Swegsda: You can get real hands on experience.
Delyth Raffell: Yeah, go to
Sarah Swegsda: You could you know we’ve have got babies out when it’s and you almost had six weeks and congratulations for get how successful six weeks. I face my lady she have got until about eight, twelve weeks and then I stop ringing and I do ring them and say where are you. You have no excuses 12 week so come on get only.
Nina Sebastiane: But I have to say I went to a wedding this weekend and my partner’s first cousin is expecting twins and I walked in, bottled in and so fairy pregnant himself and I thought and then I took one look at her and bless her she is tiny, but the front of her is the size of the small -- and I just thought I’ve got nothing to worry about I don’t know I just so were humbled by the fact that she look for sensational got to manage to come to the wedding and looking great and in sort of doing at all, at that late stage of pregnancy with twins.
Delyth Raffell: All credibly comfortable for twins carry and that amount of weight, by three, seven weeks.
Sarah Swegsda: I thought seven weeks -- If I didn’t injure what’s the need to hospital. I was crying I had an SPD which is where the ligaments in your pelvis become incredibly painful, I had crud cheese, I had, just to hold me and it was just like horrendous.
Nina Sebastiane: And you do it all again.
Sarah Swegsda: I do it -- that for me was like ten hours but it doesn’t feel like ten, eight, it really doesn’t feel like ten hours. I has an epidural but you don’t have to have an epidural, you now that you can have a -- and the myth is a lot of woman think they are have to cesarean and on like you do not
Nina Sebastiane: So you had a very natural birth for twins. And what they both present in the right way and everything.
Delyth Raffell: The thing is called -- but the difficult is the second baby is the sort of first it brought the head down, the natural delivery is a viable option
Sarah Swegsda: But, he was breached he was up to crossly and what I -- I gave birth to Bethany, he decided that he was staying in there. He was thought that was huge --
Nina Sebastiane: He too wants to come out, why you can’t happy in that.
Sarah Swegsda: That although it’s quite you know it was ended up -- delivery and you know there was at that point I going to have to asked help for deserving that just that is one thing that freak me out and the hospital were brilliant you know I said I want a natural possible birth of you know is having the epidural for the pain relief sort of thing that they got enough 20 minutes late and now he was perfectly healthy, but you know I do remember actually closing the legs and tell me we’re going about next week -- thinking that --
Nina Sebastiane: What’s all people do god.
Sarah Swegsda: When I give birth to second is about the whole thing again, and it’s not it you know you should you give birth to the first twin and then it’s literarily one or two pushes and she have given birth to.
Nina Sebastiane: Well, you have done that in a very lady lot fashion I was thinking sort of balls. Well, listen I mean you both all four of you live absolutely wonderful and obviously you’re copping more than cooping and your tips where people are going through the same thing it’s wroth in the end right.
Sarah Swegsda: Oh, definitely. I think the important thing is the you know my whole aim is to help most of the parents, yes, I have the business but back if I am completely honest I do so lot equipment, but a lot of my actual role in the shop now is delivering information to parents all over the country and that’s information I have printed enough you know talk to Delyth.
Delyth Raffell: And I have a ten women of I pulled sources from and speak to them and take that experiences on board and that feeling I’ll put it down and also we’ve to install another phone line because the amount of people were calling just had a note you know -- yes, they’re just, they feel, that they can’t cope with being pregnant with twins and they depressed and because they get the negativity from the non-twin parents, and you know I hate to say it but its them the worst they say oh twins --
Delyth Raffell: You know that was really, really bad thing and of course that doesn’t help if you’re feeling.
Sarah Swegsda: We will tell you the truth. If you ring me or you meet in Delyth, you know we will you the truth we won’t hide anything from you.
Nina Sebastiane: Talk to us, get on the phone I’ll give you call, get in touch. Thank you so much for coming and see us today. Nathan and Bethany, Sarah, Delyth thanks a lot indeed.