Bringing a Premature Baby Home for the First Time - Catrina's Story

The day we got to bring Tanner home was a jumble of emotions. We were ecstatic. We were totally excited because our baby was finally coming home, and I remember the night before he had had a setback and I was waiting and waiting and waiting to get a hold of the nurse that he had been, had been taking care of him all day and I finally got a hold of her and she said, “Well, he has kind of had a setback so I am not sure if he is going to go home tomorrow,” and I remember hanging up the phone saying, “I just want my baby. I just want my baby”.

And so, I was kind of terrified to go to the hospital that day because I really didn’t know exactly what the news was going to be, whether he was going to have to stay another day. They kind of play it day-by-day. They don’t tell you, “Oh yeah, he’ll go home tomorrow,” because they really don’t know and they never gave me false hope. They were very open and honest with me.

So when she said, “You’re going to be able to take Tanner home today,” it was a moment that you just can’t even describe, but in a sad way too. Tanner had a roommate and Tanner’s roommate had been there for about three months and this mom had watched baby after baby go home, and I just remember thinking, you know, as happy as I am, as excited as I am to take my baby home, I didn’t want to like jump for joy and do this dance because I knew she wasn’t going to get her baby home yet.

And so, it was a bundle of emotions, you know, and then the nurses come and then they brought him a little blanket that they sent him home with and my husband and I were just a little scared. He was this little itty-bitty thing and we are taking him home and we didn’t know if he is going to have special needs. We didn’t know if he is going to have breathing difficulties after. So, we were just a little frightened but very, very excited to bring him home and to show him to his brothers because his brothers didn’t get to see him in the NICU either. They didn’t get to visit him.

So, you know, he had a little brother at home who was 2-years-old waiting for him to get there and, you know, it was really neat moment when we got to introduce them together because they are 22 months apart and that bond hasn’t broken since we’ve brought him home. They are best friends. They do everything together. So it was a neat experience, but a difficult one too